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How do I deal with the pressures of singlehood?

There are pressures with every stage of life, howbeit different but present. They can be internal (self-inflicted) or external (from peers, parents, family, friends, church folks, society etc.) Pressure isn’t in itself bad; our response to pressure on the other hand could be bad. Pressure makes you uncomfortable; you chose to respond positively or not.

External pressure could come out of love and concern while some people just want to make you do wrong; knowing the difference is key. Peers that tell you to live outside God’s will are certainly leading you astray. Defiling your body will not give you a happy home, living above your means to prove a point will only leave you very broke. Any friend, relationship that is not adding positively to your life, you must run away from.  You can’t afford to waste your time, talent and resources on things/people that are going nowhere.

Sometimes people pressure you to get married, this is one of the pressures that comes with being single.  Don’t get angry, it is only a phase. Instead, see it as a motivation to prepare for the next phase. But by no means let it become a burden. Work, plan, pray, towards the next phase of life but don’t stop living because you want to get married.

I think the most concerning of pressures is the internal pressure. You begin to question; why am I not yet married? Are I not good enough? What is wrong with me? Desperation begins to set in. You start to see every person as a potential spouse, you only pray, talk, dream and think about getting married, it becomes a mission instead of what God originally intended for it to be; to fulfil purpose. Then you start making mistakes, entering into relationships you had no business entering into in the first place. Some people even start getting depressed. MARRIAGE IS NOT THE ULTUMATE IN LIFE!!!

Do not allow the pressure within to win. When you have that urge, just know that you are ready but you must not let it take over and overwhelm you.  Don’t be pressured by everyone getting married. Your journey is different. Rejoice and be happy for those that are getting married knowing that your day of celebration will come but most importantly, you want to get it right! Forever is too long to be unhappy.

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